2012年4月13日星期五

The Lamest NPC across GW1 (spoilers)

[:1]I am curious which NPC people find most pathetic in the GW1 campaigns. I've listed below some of my strongest contenders and a few reasons why they deserve consideration:

Shiro:

Thwarted at every turn by the first group to turn up there. At every turn he was thwarted from Zen Daijun to Vizunah square, Tahnnakai temple to Sunjiang district, his influence over Kuunavang was broken in Unwaking waters (in as little as 120 seconds or so for some groups), his minions were overrun at the Raisu Palace and the moment he turned mortal again he was immediately beaten. He is unable to achieve anything outside LBCs (long boring cutscenes) and is generally incompetent. Add to that the fact that he has to resort to cheesy unique skills and you have a truly pathetic character.

Kormir:

She's grossly incompetent and helps to speed Nightfall by messing around in the Fahranur ruins. During the Consulate Docks mission she confesses to Dunkoro that she knows the mission is a trap. Despite this she manages to get herself caught, gets almost the entirety of the Sunspears destroyed and she achieves nothing in that mission. She gets rescued and then gets herself pulledinto the Realm of Torment. She hands out lots of quests without ever getting off her on backside to help. She gets in the way repeatedly (physically obstructing!) and then has the cheek to steal the divinity which rightfully belongs to the player character. As for her skill set... despite having a spear she never uses it - about the only skill she actually uses is incoming.

Kieran Thackeray:

Is a member of the Ebon Vanguard; for the uninitiated that means that apart from Gwen and a handful of NPCs actually stationed within the EotN (of which he was not one!) the rest of the Vanguard went on the mission with Langmar at the start of the GW:EN campaign. So Thackeray would fall within the group of "heroes" who got beaten and captured by a few Charr in the Against the Charr mission in EotN (almost certainly the easiest mission in EotN even in hard mode - only mission that comes close is Curse of the Norn Bear!). His long boring dialogue trains are one of the best reasons to go AFK in the game. He invades the inner sanctum of the Hall of Monuments, an area dedicated to the player character, to hit on a member of the player character's group, who is not exactly emotionally stable! He's lazy as f*ck, making the player character do all the legwork without ever straying far from the entrance to EotN (on this basis the injury he sustains for one of the boring dialogue chains was likely incurred when he fell down the exit ramp to EotN). He's a coward that finds a convenient excuse to run away and hide rather than participate in the Battle for Lions Arch. He purports to be a ranger but isn't (no ranger skills, no pet, no preparations, no runing skills) and uses some of the most cheesy and stupid skills in the game during those crap extra missions - seriously that sniper shot is just ***!

Togo:

Is one of the most patronising and boring b*stards imaginable - just play Minister Cho's Estate if you need a reminder just how lame and stupid he is. Participates in blocking access to towns and outposts preventing characters from progressing unless they follow the excessively dull and boring primary quest routes. Wears what has to be the worst outfit in the game during his bonus mission quest. Participates in the joke that is the Factions storyline. Wanders off on his own when the player character is recapturing Raisu Palace to trigger an LBC (see above), getting himself killed and Shiro restored in the process - supposedly if the player character wasn't there that might (highly questionable) have caused a problem for Cantha. Among his skills he uses the ridiculously overpowered "Dragon Empire Rage" - a sure sign of lame character.

Rurik:

Will try to keep this short - boring missions, LBCs, a suicidal tendency which results in a failed mission when he dies, makes you do all the legwork, gets beaten by a dwarf, doesn't have the strength of character to resist the Lich, uses Hundred Blades in pre-searing ascalon when everyone knows you're not allowed elites in pre-searing!

Melonni, Koss, Dunkoro et al:

LBCs, some needy requirement to force themselves onto you in specific missions despite being crap, being a pain to level up, can't use skills effectively, annoying storylines, crap quests, inability to kill off.

Would be interesting to see who people feel I have overlooked (though there are a lot to choose from)|||That ranger wuss from WiK. I hate him.

The reasons are probably similar to why I loathed Anomen in Baldur's Gate 2. That stupid son of a cleric would've ended up meeting a basilisk if there would've been any in BG2 right after he started hitting on my character. But since there weren't any, I only just kicked his retarded wanna-be pretty boy's arse out of the team.

The idiot from WiK isn't hitting on my character, but on a valuable member of my team, taking advantage of her emotional distress. I'd feed him to some frost wurms if I could.|||I still don't like Thackerey, even after his "Hearts of the North" crap. I generally will lie saying that I accepted *it* (not him, but an it), but truth is, I can't stand the thought of that d-bag messing with an integral member of my team! No one hits on an integral and highly valued member of my team and expects to get away still reproductively sound and capable .|||Didn't vote yet, it's a tossup between Kormir and Rurik for me.

As for other lame characters, Joko and Zehtuka comes to mind.

Joko have, can, and will be more impressive, but he isn't in current storyline. More like clumsy, but the gap between the current and his future/former self deserves a mention, methinks.


Quote:




"No, No, No! Mummified flesh on the left! Dried bones on the right! No, your other right! You worthless bits of animated anatomy!"




Zehtuka is just a troll.|||Where's Oink?

-Art|||Definitely Kormir - at least you can use Rurik and Togo as bait, and Thackeray makes Oppressor weapons easier to get.|||Nightfall heroes were the ones that annoyed me the most, and still do due to their utterly stupid requirements for the missions.

Pathetic? I always thought mhenlo was a wuss, but yeah, togo was a ****ing retard as well.|||Quote:






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Where's Oink?

-Art




How can you call the godly Oink lame?!

Anyway, it's a difficult choice, but Kormir got my vote. Stealing my godhood after being useless throughout the entire campaign is not cool.|||Quote:






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Nightfall heroes were the ones that annoyed me the most, and still do due to their utterly stupid requirements for the missions.




I used to absolutely HATE them, but now everyone of the mandatory guys just spams SoS in those missions/quests. Spirits last an eternity and they are insanely cheap so even Koss, with his 2 pips of e-regen, can deal with them.|||Hilarious OP.

Pathetic NPCs? So many to choose from. Kormir and Togo annoyed me to no end. Yeah, Danika too. But nope. Worst of them all is Kun Shao, the bookie-gone-stableboy. Where's my tournament points?!?!

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